The feeling where you mess up so bad and want to take it all back and fix it, but can’t… Wishing none of it EVER happened. Wishing that you could had acted differently. Wishing that you could had took action differently. Wishing that you listened. Wishing that you could take the pain away from that person you hurt… What sucks is that you KNOW you could had been different. Knowing that you were concious ENOUGH to prevent it from happening, but you did it anyway…

I feel all this right now. A true asshole. Straight up stupid. It hurts sooo much.. and I truly deserve all of this.. I can only regret, apologize and say sorry a billion times, but nothing can change from what has already happened..Its one of those things that you cannot forget, forever.. So all you could do is to take that in and make sure it will never, EVER happen again.. =[

Its safe to say that we are “comfortable” with each other. Lately we have been argueing almost every other day for the past month. Every fight would be so hard because it wasn’t something even between us. It was always due to something else… until now. I realized that the way I am isn’t as sensible as I thought. There were things that I was blind about. Things that would piss her off and really couldn’t do anything about. I would cry my ass off when the situation gets confusing… Now she says everything is getting boring. Weird thing is.. is that I don’t feel like its getting boring and I believe that she doesnt mean hat There’s something about her that just wants me to keep going. I never want to leave and I don’t know why. Even when the situation gets to the point where she is really fucked up. I’m still here.. and the same for her. After some fights I would go off and drive somewhere confused trying to accept the fact that it might not be working…But then I always get this phone call back from her..telling me to come back.

Its obvious that we both STILL love each other no matter what. We both don’t want this relationship to end. We always end up trying to fix it.. and we do. From there, new problems always come up. And what do we do? We still end up mending our differences together even though the heat between us gets greater each time. This is REAL love.

The two of us come from totally different places. Both agreeing to something all the time is not possible, but that’s what makes us. We are a perfect example of how “opposites attract.” I have been riding the same roller coaster for about 9 months now with the most beautiful girl ever, INSIDE and out. We finally hit those extremely high and low points where we want to get off, but we can’t.. we don’t want to?

On July 30, 2011, I hopped on this seemingly never ending roller coaster with this girl and I never been so happy. I love you Chynna Calayag<3. I can’t wait for Disneyland for our Anniversary. =]

I don’t know why it’s about winning the arguement, having pride, or just being revengeful and ignorant, but all I CARE* about is the relationship. Honestly, that’s why I don’t pick fights over small things*. Think before you act, because if you don’t, shit happens.. when it isn’t suppose to.